There is perhaps, no greater priority in childhood than to acquire an education. It is in the early years that we need to put much attention to survival skills that is going to help us succesfully manuever around the pitfalls of adult life.
By following the actions of our adults intelligently, we have a best chance of avoiding a middle-age of confusion and resignantion, sorrow and regret.
The clue to successful adult life, we are repeatedly told, lies in our childhood education. It is for this reason that I sent my lovely daughter- same as other parents- to kindergarten to begin the journey of reading indefinite books- but the 2019 virus came along :).
The subject of childhood education- which is useful in guiding our adult life- is not taught in any school on the planet. A further irony is that this unstudied subject is the one that, nevertheless, we live through every day in our early years.
It is part of our life experience, as invisible as air or out of touch as time. The missing subject, is ofcourse, our childhood itself.
Our chances of living a fulfilling adult life depends overwhelmingly on our knowledge and engagement with the nature of our childhood. This is because it is during childhood that our adulthood identity is being molded and our implicit behaviors are set.
We spent over 25,000+ hours in the company of our parents/guardians by the age of 18; a span which ends up determining how we think of life, relationships, careers, how we approach opportunities in the world, what we think of ourselves, how we treat strangers, and how much happiness we think we could explore.
More tragically, and without any warning, our childhood could be, or was -to put it nicely- complicated!
The expectations we had formed in those early years about what the world is supposed to give us is totally distorted. I imagined being a rich farmer with vast acres of land, just like one of our neighbors famed for his farming capabilities.
Something, or indeed, many things, went slightly wrong. We developed questionable directions, leaving us in unfamiliar territories. We may, for example, picked up the belief that we have to lie about our interests in order to be accepted by society.
From our experiences, we may have acquired expectations or internal scripts that we play out unknowingly during our adult lives.
Certain people (family members, peers, etc) did not take us seriously back then, now we tend to believe that no one can- it is a competitive world and people live their complicated lives.
One problem about our childhoods is that they are surrounded by misleading information. By the end of the day, children do not have something to compare their lives against; it’s just fantacy in our eyes as opposed to reality of life characetrised by outright dangers.
For many years during most of our childhood, it seemed normal for a father to lie down on a sofa watching television or drinking alcohol. The legacy of a difficult childhood spreads into every corner of adult life.
It may take until a person is deep into adulthood and might have messed up their careers substantially or gone through a series of frustrating relationships that make it difficult for such a person to connect what happened in the past and how they are living as adults.
Slowly, they start to realize the debt of a troubled relationship is owned to the dynamics of a drunkard mother or a violent father.
Or, over several hours of discussions, a person may realize they may be no conflict between being a good person and being successful- contrary to what a disappointed father or mother once implied.
The current system teaches us that inorder to be succesful, we must comprehend the laws of the universe and history of humanity. But in order to properly succeed, we need a proper understanding of our childhood.
It is through this understanding that we will not be sunk by lack of trust, anxiety, paranoia, rage and other complexities that shape our adult life which were borrowed from our distorted past.
In other news, Man U will win the FA Cup. Arsenali relegation!! Leta maoni